Dear Santa,

You don't exist and I hate your holiday. But since you seem to show up here every year and grant wishes, here's mine: kill everyone on this boat. ["Except Vince and Adam" is scrawled in after the fact.]

No love,
Elle

Happy, Admiral? I wrote your stupid Christmas letter!

[private to Howie, after much hesitation]

I'm not alright.

I get that this place is supposed to be a second chance. Some all-powerful superbeing picks and chooses who gets to be locked up forever, and we're all supposed to be happy about it, 'cause golly! We're not deadBut life's a bitch and sometimes bad stuff just happens. Maybe dying at twenty-four wasn't in my plans, but I screwed up and that's what I ( Read more... )